My son is autistic. This is how I felt seeing Tim Walz’s son

Watching Tim Walz’s son Gus, who has a non-verbal learning disorder, standing up, clapping and crying with pride, mouthing, “That’s my dad!” as Walz, the governor of Minnesota and Kamala Harris’s Democratic running mate for the presidency, made a powerful speech, brought tears to my eyes.
It’s a hugely moving moment. Walz is talking about the values he has learnt as a former teacher and “the hell of infertility” that he and his wife, Gwen, faced trying to conceive Gus and their daughter, Hope.
“Hope, Gus and Gwen, you are my entire world,” he says to his family, at which point Gus stands up clapping, silently cheering and pointing proudly to his father.
• Who is Tim Walz?
The social media world was quick to respond. “That kid had me in tears. He loves his dad, and it’s beautiful that he’s so open about it. Just a beautiful moment,” one person wrote on Reddit, while a Twitter/X user wrote: “I don’t cry easily, but as the dad of a teenage son with autism, ADHD & anxiety issues, watching Tim Walz’s 17-year-old son (who has a non-verbal learning disorder, ADHD & anxiety disorder) standing up, crying & pointing to the stage telling everyone ‘that’s my dad’ just gutted me.”
I don’t see how anyone could fail to be moved watching Gus but it is especially moving to parents like me who also have a child who is neurodivergent. It’s also lovely seeing a child with disabilities stand up and be celebrated in this way, because representation and awareness are so important. Seeing children such as Gus on such a visible platform helps to banish the stigma and, dare I say it, shame that sometimes come with having a child who is “different”.
Our son, Eddie, is 12 and was diagnosed with autism, sensory processing disorder and something called pathological demand avoidance when he was seven, although the “A” word was first mentioned when he was just a toddler and had speech and learning delays. He is also visually impaired. Despite all this, he looks like any other child and has what is considered to be an invisible disability.
• Tim Walz DNC speech
When he started school he couldn’t hold a pencil, write his name or understand what was meant by an “inside voice”. While he has a perfectly normal IQ and is very articulate, he still can’t tie his shoelaces or ride a bike.
He does, however, create incredibly intricate and detailed Lego models, make a brilliant brownie and remember all the punchlines for his favourite jokes. Star Wars would probably be his chosen subject on Mastermind and Young Sheldon is his favourite programme. His best friend is probably our labrador Luna but he is also obsessed and incredibly gentle and loving with her ten-week-old puppy, Mabel.
We joined the waiting list for an NHS assessment when Eddie was five after a disastrous first year at school and, after a frustrating wait, shelled out for a private assessment two years later. He is waiting for an ADHD assessment too.
The Walzes told People magazine this month: “When our youngest, Gus, was growing up, it became increasingly clear that he was different from his classmates. Gus preferred video games and spending more time by himself.”
They added: “Like so many American families, it took us time to figure out how to make sure we did everything we could to make sure Gus would be set up for success as he was growing up.”
I know first hand the battle to get an assessment and the right support to try and ensure your child has the same opportunities as everyone else. It can feel like an uphill struggle when you have a child who doesn’t fit “the norm”.
Parenting Eddie has been a completely different experience to raising my other two children, who are not on the spectrum. It has been very lonely and isolating at times: being shunned at the school gates because your child is shouting or spinning round wildly in circles and talking to themselves, finding out that every other child in the class has been invited to a party except yours and that one parent has even asked for your child to be purposefully excluded so that her son doesn’t have to be taught in the same classroom as him. This was the child who kept calling him “brain-damaged” but was still one Eddie considered to be a friend and wanted to ask round for a playdate. How do you explain to your child that the same child’s parent has asked for him to be forcibly removed from their school?
The school was really supportive up to a point but then put Eddie on half-days for almost a year after a meltdown, even though he had his own teaching assistant.
After realising that Eddie wouldn’t be able to cope in a mainstream school, we then faced the struggle of trying to move him to a specialist setting. After battling for almost a year and trying to explain to the local authority that he wouldn’t last five minutes in the institution with padded walls they wanted to send him to, he finally got a place at a brilliant specialist school where he is understood and celebrated for who he is. It’s no exaggeration to say it has changed all our lives for the better, especially Eddie, who finally feels accepted.
Despite having been a journalist for about 20 years and Eddie’s mum for 12, I’ve only started writing about him publicly in the past few years, initially under a pseudonym because I wasn’t sure if it might be a violation of his privacy to do so. Now we have conversations and talk about him being autistic and how the fact he is not the same as everyone else makes him special and unique. He has taken ownership of his autism and understands it’s part of what makes him who he is.
Yet I can understand why parents may be reluctant to talk about having a child with a disability. It can be fraught with conflict when it comes to knowing what is and isn’t the right thing to do.
It’s something that is slowly starting to change, thanks to celebrities such as the actor Colin Farrell talking about his 20-year-old son, James, who has a rare debilitating disorder called Angelman syndrome. Farrell recently talked to People about why he is starting a foundation to help adult children with similar disabilities to prepare for greater independence. The DJ Ken Bruce’s son Murray, who is autistic and non-verbal, also featured on Chris Packham’s touching documentary Inside Our Autistic Minds this year, and Bruce moved Packham to tears when he talked about how lonely Murray was.
So seeing children such as Gus Walz hit the headlines in such a positive way is encouraging and heartwarming to parents like me. It gives us hope that the world is slowly changing for kids like ours, and that they will eventually be included rather than excluded for being different and perhaps even celebrated for their difference. And who knows, Tim Walz could even end up being president. Wouldn’t it be incredible to see a child with a disability in the White House? I for one would clap for that.